Do you allow yourself to feel happy?

When things are going well – you got a bonus and pay increase at work, you relationship is going from strength to strength, you have amazing friends and family, you have been on a lovely holiday, you have a beautiful house – Do you actually allow yourself to feel happy? Or do you self sabotage?

Research by Gay Hendricks has shown that we all have a set point in life. Below this set point we are in our comfort zones, we know how to live in this area and our minds are comfortable to do so. But if we rise above this set point – be it with everything going well in life by getting a promotion, or new car, new house, relationship going really well – we often see some self sabotage to bring us back to our set point, to bring us back to safety.

For example, have you or maybe you have observed, when someone gets a promotion they pick a fight with their partner, or they buy a new house and then all of a sudden there is a huge bill to pay, or you get home from a holiday and get sick? These are all signs of self sabotage. We usually do not do it consciously but our sneaky wee subconscious mind is still working caveman style in fight and flight and it is sensing that we are above our set point so we need to reel it back in! But our lives aren’t really in danger – well if we carry on they may be in danger of being normal, staying stuck and not living out our dreams.


We can up-level our set point to enable the happiness, joy, love, and success into our lives that we deserve by implementing the following three step process.

 1. Address our mindset! 

Before we can do anything we need to look at our mindset FIRST. Read my blog post on this here!

 2. Make small changes

We can trick our minds by taking small baby steps to up-levelling.

For example if you want to increase your happiness of having cash in your wallet or savings in your account start small. Open a separate savings account and put in $10 each week, watch the account grow.

Or in our personal lives really appreciate and enjoy the small things, the fresh sheets on the bed, your cup of tea in the sun, a lie in on Sunday, the call from your mum. Getting comfortable and really enjoying and feeling grateful for these small things helps us to increase our set points and allow bigger things into our life.

3. Awareness – Catch ourselves

Once we know this information we can’t unlearn it.

Being aware of ourselves and the tricks our mind is trying to play on us to “keep us safe” can help us catch ourselves if we start to self sabotage and quickly turn our mindset back to positive and happy. The more we do this the more we can feel and the higher our set point moves!


What can you do today to implement these steps? How can you bring more love into your life?


Leave me a comment below letting me know you are going to try the 3-step process. Declaring it “out-loud” will make it WAY more likely to happen.

If you would like some more personalised support with your mindset, goals and leading your best life please head to my contact page to schedule a call with me. I would love to work with you.








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