In life there is always someone or something that will trigger us, make us anxious, angry or otherwise. We can not change other people we can only change ourselves, our behaviour, and our reactions. So, although we might spend years trying to change the person who is triggering us. At the end of the day, the only control and power we have is within ourselves. (This is another one of those scary moments where we have to look inwards!).
Now the first step is to gain awareness. Be aware of the person or thing that is triggering you. Can you articulate why they trigger you? To really deeply understand your thoughts open a journal or grab some paper and answer the following questions –
Why am I triggered by X?
What is it about their behaviour that annoys me and makes me angry/sad/frustrated?
How do I express these emotions?
Now we have awareness of our triggers, we need to see if we can pattern interrupt. It is totally ok to not get on with everyone in life but we need to be able to have content relationships with our nearest and dearest who are often the most triggering. So…I suggest that you pick out one of the pattern interrupters below and try it out over the next week any time you are feeling the emotion welling up inside after an interaction with person X.
-Use the Mantra “Peace begins with me” and as you say it touch your thumb to your pointer finger, middle finger, ring and pinky on each word.
-Consciously use your breathe to change your state and bring calmness in. The box breathing technique below is fantastic.
-Clench your fists really tight and then breathe out and let them go, letting go of the negative thoughts/overwhelm at the same time.
-Using an affirmation like “I am love”, “I am peace”.
Now the final step is to remain vigilant. Now we are aware we need to be ready to use our pattern interrupter at any moment to help return our thoughts to those of love, peace, and calmness when we are trigger. This helps us to react in the way we want to rather than be reactive to what is happening to us.
Please let me know in the comments below the impact that this technique had on your mindset this week! And as always, if you would like some more personalised coaching with your mindset, goals and leading your best life drop me a message so we can connect. I would love to support you in living your best, most loving life!